Masonry Magazine December 2001 Page. 37
A Poem by S. S. Saucerman
The Night Before Closeout
(Or A Visit From The Retainage Fairy)
T'was the night before closeout and all through the job,
my crew had turned into an unruly mob.
The owner was manic - for his church wasn't done,
the punch list was growing... and life was no fun.
My children were home nestled warm in their beds,
as the architect punched all my good work to shreds.
And the Bob's in their tool belts and the Dan's in their trucks,
and the crisp, winter air filled with "dammits" and ...
ATTENTION!
WE INTERRUPT THIS POEM WHILE OUR AUTHOR MAKES AN IMPORTANT
PHONE CALL TO OUR ATTORNEY, MR. BILL A. BULLHAUER:
Author: "Hi... Bill? Yeah... Steve. Say, I'm writin' an inspirational poem for our
readers and I need an expletive that rhymes with truck and I was thinkin'
Author: "... no ... I haven't had anything... not yet... I'm out of grenadine
Author: "... yes Bill... I know this is a family magazine... but still I was wonderin'
Author: yes Bill ... I remember the unfortunate "Fipschit" incident...
Author: "... yes, he was quite upset... but you gotta' admit it was kinda' funny,
don't ya' think Bill? Especially when ...
Author: "... no Bill... the other parts weren't so funny ...
Author: I know you have kids and a mortgage Bill ...
Author: "... are you crying Bill?"
WE NOW RETURN YOU TO OUR POEM ALREADY IN PROGRESS ("shucks"):
And the moon on the breast of the newly-built space,
(Oh geeeezz - I said "breast" - now they'll all lose their place!)
But the job was progressing - all the workers were working...
yet I had a foreboding that evil was lurking.
When outside the walls, there arose such a clatter -
"Damn! Scotty's been drinkin' and fell clean off his ladder."
As he soared pass the window, he reached out for the frame -
his shoulder went "pop" another worker's comp claim!