Masonry Magazine April 2002 Page. 32
ognizes that reacting quickly might not achieve the best outcome. He lays out his options and considers the consequences of each choice. He could say "yes" to Elizabeth, work over the weekend, and postpone any discussion with his daughter. He could say "no" to Elizabeth in an e-mail, explaining the circumstances. He likes this option because he doesn't want to have to address her personally. But Bill decides to talk with Elizabeth in person. With a dry mouth and clenched stomach, he reserves time on Elizabeth's calendar for later in the day. In the intervening hours, Bill reflects on how Elizabeth's style makes him nervous. He also recognizes how much her energy and drive have boosted the association's effectiveness and reputation in the field. For Elizabeth, this job means everything. Bill realizes that he is taking a tremendous risk in approaching Elizabeth, but decides he is ready to take a stand and set some limits on her expectations of him. He knows now that he is hardly powerless. He always has had the choice to make his priorities clear, both to himself and to others. During their meeting, Bill tells Elizabeth how difficult this decision has been for him. He shares the dilemma and asks Elizabeth what they could do together to prevent the need to work so many weekends. He lets her know his concern about burnout, both for himself and for his staff. He also acknowledges the importance of the work they are doing together. At first, Elizabeth seems startled when Bill says he won't be working over the weekend. After listening to his requests, she quickly rebounds with her own. She wants to have a phone conference with him on Saturday. Since Bill's daughter tends to sleep until the late morning, or even early afternoon, Bill agrees to have a phone conversation at 9:00 a.m. Bill leaves Elizabeth's office with a tremendous sense of relief. She was smiling, and he feels big about his firmness and for communicating what was important to him. Best of all, he senses he has negotiated a win-win decision for them both.
Decisions Form a Personal Tradition of Integrity
As we learn and grow integrity moment by integrity moment, we start to accumulate our experiences into a personal tradition of integrity. Now that Bill has one big experience with Elizabeth, he has started to build a muscle of good decision making with her. The next time he faces a similar situation, making a decision with integrity will be easier and will come more naturally. People learn from the consequences of decisions. Bill will learn what happens after this weekend. How well did the phone conference idea work? How is his relationship with his daughter progressing? Does he sense that being more available to her helps her deal with her own difficulties?
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